Monthly Update

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Boston Cream Pie

I haven’t been posting as much lately as I should.  Everything is quite ordinary, which is excellent.  I’ve been going on a few random dates, after taking November/December/January off from dating.  I don’t know if I should have dated so soon after Matt and I breaking up.  It distracted me from the massive emotional disturbance of the divorce, but I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not.

Nevertheless, things are going swimmingly around here.  I’ve had a couple interviews for different (better paying) jobs at work, and on Friday, I have a second interview for one of them.  Yay!

Last night I went on the worst.date.ever.  He was 30 (but looked 40, poor guy), lives with his parents, has a degree in Liberal Studies, and he’s worked at Whole Foods for the past 8 years.  He was so incredibly negative about everyone (customers at Whole Foods have the stupidest questions and treat the workers terribly *eye roll*); he wants a nice office job but no one will hire him, and it’s just not fair!!!!  *Sigh*

But I had two fantastic dates this weekend with a lovely, lovely gentleman.  He hasn’t pushed my boundaries even once.  Usually people insist on giving me a ride home, since I don’t drive.  He’s offered, but doesn’t insist when I say no.  He hasn’t even kissed me yet (but gives great hugs).  We haven’t talked about past relationships (which, honestly, I don’t want to know about them, and I don’t want to talk about mine), and we have a lot in common in regards to likes/dislikes/political views.  He seems interesting.  

I’m getting back into baking.  For the past few weeks, I’ve made a cake on Sunday night to take to work on Monday.  This week was a Boston Cream Pie – a request, because I would NOT have made that on my own.  The glaze didn’t turn out right.  It’s a bit too liquidy, and I should have used baking chocolate instead of cocoa powder, since the powder didn’t blend in quite right.  Maybe I’ll try again in a few weeks.

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Remarks on my Three Day Weekend

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Today, I’m back at work from a lovely three-day-weekend.   Yesterday, I had a truly enlightening experience.  I’ve forgotten what it’s like to work at a job I detest – a job I absolutely loathe.  Sometimes, I complain about my job, but I really have it easy.  I don’t wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead.  I don’t count the hours until I’m off work.  I like my coworkers, and my workload is varying and mostly interesting.  I have great benefits and so much paid time off, it’s ridiculous.  And maybe I don’t make as much money as I would like, but I don’t have to worry about getting raises, and I never worry about being laid off or fired.  I really am quite fortunate, and I need to stop griping about waking up early, or my stupid co-worker that plays pranks on me.  I’ve been a lot worse off.

This weekend was rather enjoyable.  Sunday night, I had a lovely date with a guy from eHarmony.  We saw American Hustle (which I liked, but I didn’t like), and then had dinner and coffee.  I really enjoyed meeting him, and I have a date with him for Saturday.  He reminds me about Matt in a lot of ways.  He’s 25, and he has a job, but he doesn’t have his career figured out.  Which is absolutely ok – lots of people my age definitely don’t have things figured out.  I certainly don’t!  He is rather geeky, but then, so am I.  He didn’t make a move on me, and I appreciated that a lot.  We both love liturgical churches, and we have a lot of hobbies in common.

I’m not in a rush to get married again.  I really need to figure out where my career is going to go, and I must do that before I commit to a serious, marriage-intended relationship.  I’m very much enjoying living by myself again (with a roommate), and I love having money to spend on nice things, like letterpress birthday cards that cost twice three times as much as a Hallmark card, or Clinique skincare products instead of Neutrogena (I ❤ Clinique!), or a ridiculous amount of fabric for Spring dresses just because I can and it’s pretty and I want it

I was thinking yesterday about something one of my friends mentioned on Friday.  He said that feminists, like me, tend to marry “milquetoast kinds of guys,” not “real men.”  He says we marry men we can boss around, men we can control.  My friend has it all wrong.  My friend automatically assumes that someone is going to get bossed around in the relationship, and if the man isn’t bossing the woman, then the woman must boss the man.  He doesn’t realize that there can be marriages where no one does any bossing whatsoever – where respect and consideration and love go both ways.  My friend wants a puppet wife to do what he wants her to do, not a wife that demands equal respect and equal say.  (He wants puppet children that he can control, too, but that’s a whole other story.)

So I was wondering all day yesterday if I’m setting myself up for failure again by dating guys that aren’t the take charge, alpha male types.  When I think about it, guys like this repulse me.  I don’t understand relationships where one person has more say than the other.  I don’t understand marriages where the wife has to be manipulative in order to get what she wants.  I’m reminded of that movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding?) where the mother tells her daughter than the husband may be the head, but the wife is the neck, and so the wife gets to turn her husband’s head in whatever direction the wife wants.  A marriage like that would be a living hell for me… it was a living hell for me.  With Matt, often he would make me logically argue for what I wanted.  If we had different opinions, I had to logically argue for my perspective, but he certainly never had to do that.  I remember throwing temper tantrums because I was so frustrated that he didn’t listen to me.  If me simply telling him want I wanted didn’t work, then maybe breaking a few dishes would.  Yeah, that was so mature.

I don’t want to think about unpleasant memories, so I’m going to stop there.

In other news, I bought some Marvel superhero fabric to make a comic book dress.  It’s cut out and waiting to be sewn.  Super excited to wear it!

 

Was it really a year ago that Matt and I took that spontaneous trip to Solvang?  Time flies.

Weekend and Other Issues to Resolve

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This weekend was rather quiet and lovely. Old Navy was having a big sale, so I picked up a few basics, and I had a lovely brunch on Saturday at the Corner Bakery. I saw A.C.O.D. on Saturday night, and it was really fun! I enjoyed it! It was nice to see Adam Scott and Amy Poehler in roles antagonistic to each other (since their characters on Parks and Recreation are married).

Sunday was a very lazy day, but I went to Marmalade Cafe at the Grove for brunch. Their blueberry pancakes were scrumptious! I listened to old This American Life podcasts during brunch. Afterwards, I did some window shopping at Anthropologie and Barnes & Noble, but nothing caught my eye. I stopped by World Market and got mulled spices for cider and some lemon curd (which is oh-my-goodness amazing!).

I always seem to do my grocery shopping when I least expect it, and so I rarely bring my reusable bags to Trader Joe’s. I stopped by the one at the Grove last night, and picked up a few essentials, and some not-so-essentials, like Gouda cheese and Hansen’s Diet Creamy Root Beer.

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And now onto the other things to resolve.

Most people know I haven’t been going to church over the past few months. I can count on one hand how many times I have been since Christmas.  It hasn’t been easy to step inside a church, and usually it results in a panic attack.  (Most of this has to do with things Matt’s parents did, which happened pretty recently, and I’m not at liberty to discuss it, or else they will sue me.)  Right now, I don’t really identify as a Christian, more as agnostic. One of my friends has told me that’s not a bad thing. I haven’t rejected Christianity, I’m just questioning it, and there’s nothing wrong with questioning.

Also, I think I need to set the record straight. I don’t have anger issues with my parents. I love my parents very much, and they know this. This doesn’t mean I can’t speak honestly about my childhood experience.  I’m pretty sure my parents never meant for me to be emotionally harmed by their actions, but I don’t have to whitewash what happened in order to make my parents look good.  For the record, they are doing an awesome job with Kim.  

Things relevant to me that I speak out against are:

  1. Modesty Culture
  2. Abusive Spiritual Practices
  3. Non-Positive Parenting Techniques

Things that are not relevant to me that I speak out against are:

  1. Abusive Parenting Techniques – I advocate for positive parenting
  2. Poor Homeschooling Practices – I advocate for more regulations for homeschooling

Another thing. Just because I may post a blog on Facebook regarding horrible homeschooling experiences doesn’t mean that it happened to me. It just means I like what the author says. Also, look for quotes when I post something. If I write a little blurb, but it’s in quotes, I’m quoting from the blog post. They are not my words.

ImageThe stuff circled in red? Not my words.

 

In conclusion, I hope this clears some stuff up.  But something people should keep in mind is that Facebook is not real life.  Most of my real life does NOT get put on Facebook. 

If you don’t know me off of Facebook, and if you’ve never talked to me in real life, if you’ve never even given me a hug and asked me how I’m doing, you don’t know me.  You don’t get to criticize me and make blanket statements about my life.  You don’t get to tell me what I have to do in order to “move on to a better place in my life.” 

And something I don’t tell my family and friends enough.  I love you.  Thank you for caring about me (and probably praying for me too).  You guys have been awesome, and I really appreciate you all.

Weekend

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So I think I’ve blogged pretty much all weekend!!  This is the most blogging I’ve done in a long time!

Yesterday I visited four places.  The one by the Grove that was technically out of my budget ended up being NOT okay.  It was a luxury apartment, like, 20 years ago!  The dishwasher was ancient!  Another one was a VERY tiny bedroom… absolutely no room for my sewing stuff.  The third was okay, but it was in a loft modified into a room, and since there were no windows, I felt a little claustrophobic.

The fourth one (which, actually was the second one I visited yesterday) was really awesome.  It’s with a woman in her mid-30’s, and she has two cats.  The apartment has hardwood floors throughout, and the complex has a laundry room and a pool.  It’s about a 20 minute bus ride into downtown LA, and another 20 minute bus ride to the Grove.  The commute to UCLA is actually really good – I’ll have to leave the apartment at 5:45 AM, which is how early i leave now if I’m driving.  The only drawbacks are that I can’t have overnight guests (not BOYS!  Gina!  She can’t spend the night!), and the lady does have a 420 prescription (oh well!).  It’s about $150 under my budget (yay!!), so I took it!

Last night I went to my parents house.  They got Chinese, and I brought a banana cream pie from Whole Foods.  We played UNO and watched Sense & Sensibility (one of my favorite movies – I love the when Marianne finally realized that Col. Brandon is like, an amazing guy, and I love the wedding scene when Willoughby gazes at the church with bitterness and regret, knowing exactly what he missed out on).

So Kim is 7, and she doesn’t know how to play UNO.  Crazy!  I think Beth and I knew that game SO WELL when we were 7!  So Mom was walking her through the game, and we could tell Kim was getting frustrated with the game.  So Mom decided that Kim needed to win…she was like, “We’re playing reds!”…because Kim had red cards.  I got the hint – but Dad did not!!!  He switched the colors all around, and even won one hand before he got the hint that we needed to let Kim win!  Poor Dad.  🙂

Jocelyn and I are meeting for coffee tonight, so that should be fun.  Tomorrow is my birthday, and I don’t really have anything special planned, although Gina is supposed to meet me at Loft.

I’ve completely ignored my diet this weekend!!  I have eaten so much!  Oh well – it was my birthday weekend, after all!  I’m back on track starting today.  I’ve lost 21 lbs since starting MyFitnessPal in March, and I’ve lost 29 lbs total since my last birthday.  Yay!

 

EDIT:  Here are pics of the room.  I’ve pulled them from the Craigslist posting!

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Birthday 2013

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Gina/Chris, Beth/Mike, Jocelyn/Bryson, Brittany, and I met at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Fullerton. It was a really great time. Gina made this awesome funfetti cake from scratch. It was a good birthday.

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Weekend

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Matt and I saw “Man of Steel” last weekend. I thought it was awesome. (Actually, Mom & Dad, I think you would really like this movie…) Matt didn’t like it, but whatever.

I made this chocolate cake for Father’s Day. It’s 3 layers, which I torted and filled with strawberry buttercream, and frosted with whipped chocolate ganache. It was amazing!

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